Well, Sorry I was Late for Work…

Guys, I know I was late for work.

It’s just that I got the scans back, and well, I don’t really know how to say this, but that brain tumor thing? Not a joke.

They said I’ve probably got six months.

It’s been a hard day, I spent the morning talking to my family, I’ve been trying to make a list of things that I need to get done.

The doctor didn’t want to show me the scan. He asked me “you’re a millennial – did you watch the Teenage Mutant Turtles when you were a kid?”

I said “yes.”

And he said, okay, well, do you remember Krang?

I thought for a second and –

Had you going for a second, didn’t I?

I don’t have a brain tumor, bro. It’s an edgy joke. You know? Daily Stormer style.

The truth about the lateness is:

  • I’ve had various internet problems for three days, and uploading that meme article was a nightmare, but it was really important that I got it done
  • (This is the big one) I forgot to pay a bill, and the site wouldn’t connect, and then it took forever to get it turned back on (you were probably able to see the front page, I assume, because that is the way this weird shit works – it’s cached)
  • I worked way, way too hard yesterday – I had a kind of inspirational mania, and I wanted to go to sleep, but then I woke up after 2 hours, and had to keep making more and more notes on “The Illness Revelations” and writing personal letters to people that I thought were important personally
  • I had an experience of religious visions and developed a messiah complex
  • I have a hang over
  • The alarm didn’t go off
  • I kinda thought since that meme page got posted late, you could just read that
  • I have a brain tumor

I assume that is a fair number of excuses? I’m only really, in theory, 3 hours late – if you’re American (and don’t have a sleep disorder). Plus, there were 3-4 filler articles.

So, I apologize, but I swear, the level of content is going to be overwhelmingly better, overall, until my lungs give out (or at least for a couple of weeks/months, until I get bored of whatever you want to call the inspiration I’ve received – I call it “unhinged self-serving religious delusion”).

And honestly – there might be more irregular hours. Still the same number of articles, but it’s possible, during the period of the Illness Revelations, that irregular hours will be kept. Generally though, “new news in the morning” is still a hard rule. For the record, I also expect the level of filler article to increase, though I can’t really make a commitment to that.

But yeah, okay – regular news day coming up. I sort of wanted to write a thing about women, based on some comments in the meme page about Russians picking up sluts on Tinder in the Ukraine, I wanted to maybe type out an AI thing.

Probably won’t.

Probably filler Tuesday.

We’ll see.