Study Claims Two Nights of Low Sleep “Makes People Feel More Than Four Years Older”

Sometimes, I go long periods barely sleeping at all. It makes you feel like you’re in a war.

Still, scientific studies are often retarded.

The Guardian:

Two nights of broken sleep are enough to make people feel years older, according to researchers, who said consistent, restful slumber was a key factor in helping to stave off feeling one’s true age.

Psychologists in Sweden found that, on average, volunteers felt more than four years older when they were restricted to only four hours of sleep for two consecutive nights, with some claiming the sleepiness made them feel decades older.


The opposite was seen when people were allowed to stay in bed for nine hours, though the effect was more modest, with participants in the study claiming to feel on average three months younger than their real age after ample rest.

I don’t think saying “I feel three months younger” is very serious at all. This seems to assert that people can feel their bodies dying in real time. Do you remember feeling noticeably younger three months ago? If not, how could these people in the study make such a claim?

“Sleep has a major impact on how old you feel and it’s not only your long-term sleep patterns,” said Dr Leonie Balter, a psychoneuroimmunologist at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm and first author on the study. “Even when you only sleep less for two nights that has a real impact on how you feel.”

Beyond simply feeling more decrepit, the perception of being many years older may affect people’s health, Balter said, by encouraging unhealthy eating, reducing physical exercise, and making people less willing to socialise and engage in new experiences.

Well, that’s very obvious.

If you don’t get a good night’s sleep, you don’t want to go to the gym, and you don’t want to talk to anyone. If you try to do either of those things, you will probably fail.

That is: unless you take pre-workout.

Pre-workout is proven to be a viable substitute for sleep. You can also mix it with vodka for an extra boost.

The researchers ran two studies. In the first, 429 people aged 18 to 70 answered questions about how old they felt and on how many nights, if any, they had slept badly in the past month. Their sleepiness was also rated according to a standard scale used in psychology research.

For each day of poor sleep the volunteers felt on average three months older, the scientists found, while those who reported no bad nights in the preceding month felt on average nearly six years younger than their true age. It was unclear, however, whether bad sleep made people feel older or vice versa.

Seriously, this is retarded. Imagine saying “I feel three months older.”

It means nothing.

I agree that sleep is important, but this is goofy.

In the second study, the researchers quizzed 186 volunteers aged 18 to 46 on how old they felt after two nights of plentiful sleep, in which they stayed in bed for nine hours each night, and two nights when they slept for only four hours a night. After two nights of restricted sleep, the participants felt on average 4.44 years older than when they had ample sleep. Feeling older was linked, unsurprisingly, to feeling sleepier.

If you want to feel young, the most important thing is to protect your sleep,” Balter said.

That’s pretty obviously true.

The best thing you can do is try to avoid digital screens for at least 4 hours before you plan to sleep.

Good luck with that.