My claims of total supremacy over the Irish race have not gone unnoticed.
I’ve experienced an altercation with the Indian overlord of Ireland, who is now bullying me into a test of my meddle, to determine who should be the true leader of Ireland.
I thought until this point, this role that is he fraudulently fulfilling was called “tow-sheik,” as in:
Muhammed #1: Hey, Muhammed, what is the sheik so rattled about?
Muhammed #2: Ah, they towed his Maserati, by Allah.
Muhammed #1: Ey. I hope they don’t dent it, mashallah.
Muhammed #2: By Allah, may the sheik’s Maserati remain undented, mashallah.
I’m not saying I thought it was a Moslem thing*, although the word sounds like that; I’m just saying that when I was in the 5th grade, I had a gigantic female teacher of geography, and she pointed at her two knees and then pointed at the class and said “ya” so we could remember “Tunisia.”
I’ll never forget thinking “surely, this is too much,” it is a “homophonic abuse” situation, but also, probably because of her, I do this in my brain, so to remember what the Irish leader is called, I think of a sheik having his Maserati towed.
However, it turns out the term is English, and it means “shaking a towel,” that is, the leader is a “towel shaker.”
Leo Varadkar, who is from India, appeared on Irish television and shook a wet towel, challenging me to a yodeling contest. The towel appeared to have dog’s blood on it, suggesting he is involved in dog-fighting, which is illegal in Ireland, but he thinks he’s above the law because he’s in a grooming gang.
He says if I refuse, he is going to book a Netflix special to spend an hour making insulting comments about me, “which will include vulgar gestures.” I think he probably means he will tap the bottom of his shoe.
However, I can see his grip on power slipping.
As the old Irish proverb says: “first he challenges you to a yodeling contest, then he surrenders. You milk his goat in front of his wife and children, and drink the milk, as it is still warm. The wife covers her eyes, but she cannot block out the sound of your gulping.”
I’m not doing a yodeling contest. How about I do my own Netflix special, exposing Varadkar’s Instagram messaging history, which the FBI covered up.
This is an example of the messaging he was sending American “fitness model” prostitutes who pay taxes (at least sales taxes): “U come see irland. I luv u wit my ten foot penes, u fell gud.”
The victims included Chelsea Clinton. In 2017, she came to James Comey about the issue, crying, and he told her: “pucker up, toots. Varadkar is keeping the field paddys in line. We’re not gonna out our man just because you aren’t interested in his ten feet of pennies.”
“He meant to say ‘penis,'” Chelsea replied.
“Oh, well that is gross then,” Comey said. “But it doesn’t change anything.”
I’m sorry, this bit doesn’t make any sense and it sucks and I don’t even remember where I was going with it.
Here’s something funny to freshen you up after that:
I don’t have the patience for current AI – it takes too long and I keep getting censored.
Last week’s meme intro (and rare outro) was funny as hell, but that level of energy is only possible after a good night’s sleep, which I did not have. I stayed up way past bedtime writing and drinking energy drinks, and then had to set the alarm.
After writing earlier about my ambitions of the day, it’s clear that none of it is within my reach, and I just need to go to sleep. I can barely keep my eyes open.
I’m just gonna wrap this up here, spam some filler, and come back tomorrow with fresh exuberance.
Sorry, I’m back.
Fell asleep in my chair. This is going to be late. But it usually is.
Oh – one thing: I don’t know exactly how I feel about AI generated images taking over meme-space. I like them. But I don’t know where they go. On one level, I think they should be a separate category. On another level, it is just obvious that we’re headed to a point where the meme space is dominated by AI images, and that just has be be accepted for what it is.
It’s not a trend. The AI will be able to make multi-panel memes with words soon. Few will continue using Paint.
I will be sad to lose the DIY nature of most memes, which has been such a huge source of so much creativity. But it is what it is.
On the other end of it, there are so many memes that I want to make personally – that I think of when I’m writing articles – that I don’t have time to make, which AI will allow me to make quickly and efficiently for articles when I need them.
For the time being, AI memes cannot qualify for editor’s picks. Though that probably won’t last long. All the good meme people (whoever they are) seem to have switched to AI already. The AI memes are better now than normal memes.
(I can see this Pixar shit getting tedious quick. I liked Toy Story alright, but that art style was always terrible.)
Here’s the Editor’s Pick of the Week:
And the Runner-Up:
The primo collection (I’m sorry, dear friend, I don’t have much Halloween stuff – for some reason, things have not felt Halloweeny this year):
*No offense intended to my Islamic bros. Don’t mean to make fun of saying “Allah” all the time; we should be saying “Jesus” more often ourselves. When I speak, I’ve been trying to open sentences with “oh, Lord Jesus,” like when you say “by Allah.” I like it. It just sounds silly because it is foreign, and Arabic speakers using English use silly sounding grammar. I’m sure you have funny things when Turks or whoever speaks Arabic. Just having fun. I wrote a thing about Islamo-Friendship today. #FreePalestine.