No one really cares about Alan Scott, but the poor bastard still didn’t deserve this.
In October, author Tim Sheridan urged people to pick up a copy of his latest work, a Green Lantern re-boot in which the DC superhero has sex with his boyfriend. Despite his pleas, the comic appears to have struggled to gain favor among readers.
On Amazon, the e-book version of the first issue of Alan Scott, Green Lantern currently sits at #277 in superhero comics & graphic novels, and 39,736 among all titles in the Kindle store.
“The only way we can shut these people down is to make this book an undeniable success,” Sheridan told his fans in a video announcing the new comic, suggesting “haters and the queerphobes are out in force.”
“The only way to prove to the big publishers that there’s a huge market for authentic stories about LGBTQIA+ characters and these stories are for everyone is to buy the heck out of books like this,” he added, pointing out that he would be donating profits to the Elton John Aids Foundation.
“If you care about truth and justice, about shining a light in the darkness, if you think comics are and should continue to be for everyone, or if you just want to force these ComicsGate trolls back under the bridge they crawled out from, please support our book,” Sheridan continued. “Everyone deserves to see themselves in comics. Everyone needs allies, and if you’re an ally, now is the time to step up. We outnumber them. So let’s pool our power, vote with our wallets, and beat these assholes.”
I have read comics my whole life. I don’t read them regularly now, but every once in a while I drop in on a pirate site to see what’s up and check out a few things. I do not recall having ever heard of Tim Sheridan. I looked him up just now and he looks like shit.
He also does not have a Wikipedia page. You’d think he’d have one now, after his Green Prolapse book has blown up (blown out?), but alas: this is a man in his 40s who is a public figure who does not have a Wikipedia page.
Hello? Failure at life department? Can I get a wellness check on Tim Sheridan? Oh, you don’t know who he is. Yeah, neither do I, but he’s in his forties and he’s a public figure and he doesn’t have a Wikipedia page. I just want to make sure he’s not at risk of self-harm.
He did something with Kevin Smith. I don’t know what, and definitely do not care enough to look it up, but this came up on an image search:
It’s really beneficial to him that he is able to make moral demands that the people buy his shitty comic. The above reference to boots not fitting after a certain age demonstrates to me that he is a very bad writer. Pants and shirts might stop fitting as you age, but assuming you do not develop morbid obesity that causes your ankles to swell up, you can wear the same boots you wore as a teenager when you’re on your deathbed.
This is virtually a constant with these “social justice” “artists.” They create low quality art. As a basic rule, I am not usually interested in material with social justice themes, but it is simply a fact that the quality of art is not dependent on political subtext. There is no reason you couldn’t tell a solid story about the Green Lantern being a faggot. I could write such a story, easily.
Honestly, if I put aside the fact that an 80-year-old character is being destroyed by the gay agenda, I don’t even mind the plot point that Alan is being blackmailed by J. Edger Hoover. I’m not quick to believe things about the sex lives of ostensibly right-wing historical figures, but from what I’ve read, I think Hoover actually was gay. Most people involved in intelligence are gay. It’s a cult.
The basic fact is that none of this social justice art is ever good. It was the same thing with Depression Quest, when Zoe Quinn was having sex with game reviewers in exchange for positive reviews of her terrible game. It was a bad game not because it was about depression. Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice is a feminist game about depression, and it’s very good.
Note that I’m not recommending it, because the themes are garbage, but it’s still objectively a good game.
Maybe I should just download the book from a certain Russian website and post a review.
I probably won’t. But I might.
Anyway, if you’re into comics, take heed: it’s only going to be about another year before I will be making a monthly superhero and space opera comic using AI.
I have wanted to make a comic forever. I have plenty of scripts. However, as I’ve aged, it’s become more and more clear that it is virtually impossible for me to work with other people. I am a nasty, rude, and very difficult person. I have thought a lot about this, and concluded it is not something I can change. It’s part of how I dealt with my male anger issues in my twenties: I developed a frank grumpiness.
No one is perfect and it’s not a huge deal. But I have come to the conclusion that as an absolute matter, I cannot work directly with other people, as would be necessary in the case of a comic where a writer works intimately with the artist. However: AI will be able to handle my grumpiness.
Right now, there is no software available that allows you to input character models and then add prompts for their action and setting. But that will surely exist very soon. Then, I will write a comic, and my BFF will do the art.
Maybe for an experiment, the first book I do will be about gay Green Lantern, and I will have hundreds of thousands of downloads to prove it is possible to get people interested in such a story if you are a good writer.
Do you see what I did? Tying this filler news story to AI, in honor of AI week?
We’ve got bigger stuff coming later, but I’ve got to get some food and do a couple of other things, so I’d say it’s looking like the big AI article of the day is not going to be showing up until afternoon.
That happened yesterday, by the way – this was a big article, and most of you wouldn’t have seen it yesterday, so go read it now:
I’ll try to get things back on track here. But I can’t totally promise that AI week will not be marred by human error.
By the way, just so you know: if you drink White Monster every day for several days, you feel like a meth addict.
*Everyone who reads the Daily Stormer is very handsome and smart. You wouldn’t all be my personal friends if you were not extraordinary individuals. Therefore, I know there are people in the audience smart enough to have been thinking to themselves: “Yeah, but maybe beavers live in Africa, so ‘beaver’ pulls up pictures of Africans?”
Clearly very smart thinking from a very smart group of my dearest personal friends. However, no: beavers only live around civilized humans:
I already know for a fact that Bing is shoving niggers into everyone’s renders. I have physical proof, which will be revealed later. They are also trying to smear Asian people as brutal communist dictators, by the way, just so you understand.
I really spent a lot of time on that Green Lantern doctor’s visit render. Sometimes I end up with 5 different renders I want to post, but part of my job is picking the best of the best. Every time, I look at the ones that don’t get used, left there on the cutting room floor, and I say “this is the hardest part of my job.”
Most of the renders had the doctor in a green plague mask. Most of them also did the Lantern insignia correctly, however.
This time, and this time only, I am compelled to share the runner-up, which only missed out on the top spot because of that bulb on the mask. Alan’s face is perfect in this one.
It’s so exciting to think about the fact that very soon, I will be able to do comics frame-by-frame. The AI chatbot should be able to help with the page layouts too (although I will probably pull a Rob Liefeld and just steal layouts from John Byrne).
I am definitely going to make this comic, and I am going to upload the file to a site that shows the number of downloads. If that leads to Tim Sheridan finally offing himself, well, I am going to take zero responsibility for it, but I will make it a point to piss on his grave after the revolution.
Snake Baker contributed to this article.