— WCJB TV20 News (@WCJB20) September 13, 2023
Florida Man went dormant for several years.
Now he’s back to save America, after hearing those things that “Red Ronny” Ron DeSantis said against Donald Trump.
Florida Man fights for the people. He fights for justice.
His machete will clear a path of truth.
His backhoe will shovel out the filth.
His gaze will melt our hearts, and melt the lies of the Jews.
We can see a red dawn on the horizon.
Soon, our march begins.
A machete-armed Florida man stole an excavator and went on a joy ride throughout Gainesville Monday night, crashing into several buildings — including a Walmart — and causing roughly $2 million in damage.
Jesse Smith, 47, was arrested early Tuesday morning after he allegedly stole the yellow Komatsu excavator, valued at $350,000, and drove it down several roads, knocking into buildings, fences, and light poles, before finally coming to rest after crashing into the side of the Walmart.
Smith entered the machine, without permission, at a construction site and “‘hotwired” the excavator and drove it away,” an arrest report viewed by the Post stated.
He allegedly broke through a chainlink fence at the work site before he drove into buildings at a nearby storage unit center while extending the excavator’s “boom” to “inflict additional damage.”
Four buildings belonging to the storage company were damaged or destroyed during Smith’s escapade before he made his way to a nearby Walmart.
En route to the retail store, Smith smashed into another fence and drove into a utility pole causing it to fall down with live wires before running over to a CT meter, causing underground damage and breaking down a light pole.
When he arrived at the Walmart, Smith smashed the 72,000-pound machine against a loading dock wall and crashed into the side of the store causing “extensive exterior damage.”
Smith then allegedly fled the excavator and ran inside armed with a machete, but discarded it.
There is no darker symbol of this capitalist empire of anal than the Walmart.
There is no greater symbol of the steel will of the workers than the backhoe.
If we were designing the communist flag for a new era (which I am doing right now), it would be a backhoe crossed over a jet ski.